6.24.2009
1.03.2009
.what.God giveth.God.taketh.away.
It`s 5 am. I can`t sleep. I think I`ve sat in every chair in my house. Just sitting and staring at a wall. From the living room couches, to the kitchen table to the toilet seat.... and not to pee.. but to just ponder. As if pondering in different sections of my home would bring me the answers I am searching for. Its been 15 hours of useless pondering... and in the end I ask myself, wtf are you even searching for. Hes dead and gone. Whats left to ponder. Magic does not exist. Theres no genie to grant me wishes. So maybe I should just go to fucking sleep already. But I cant. Here I am, back in the first chair I started out in. Thinking, searching... breaking down inside...
I can`t stop thinking of his face..and replaying memories. Digging my mind for small moments, and making sure I don't forget a single one. My friend lived in another city, so I don't see him often, but we talked every single day. He IS family to me....He was probably the best brother I have ever had... took care of me. Was there when I needed him. He watched my back and I watched his... I keep texting his berry... hello... this isn't real... come back... just say something.... I`ve checked my berry probably every 5 mins, my heart pounds and then dies with the silence of my phone. The sleeping pills have been taking effect for awhile now... but I won`t fall asleep. I just cannot... I want to think about him...
I don't know what else to say except that I feel empty. A big part of me died when he died...Happy fucking New Years. NOT!
I read this before i went to bed last night to help cheer myself up: ♥fucking nammers♥ Sanj would of thought that was hilarious... sigh.
I can`t stop thinking of his face..and replaying memories. Digging my mind for small moments, and making sure I don't forget a single one. My friend lived in another city, so I don't see him often, but we talked every single day. He IS family to me....He was probably the best brother I have ever had... took care of me. Was there when I needed him. He watched my back and I watched his... I keep texting his berry... hello... this isn't real... come back... just say something.... I`ve checked my berry probably every 5 mins, my heart pounds and then dies with the silence of my phone. The sleeping pills have been taking effect for awhile now... but I won`t fall asleep. I just cannot... I want to think about him...
I don't know what else to say except that I feel empty. A big part of me died when he died...Happy fucking New Years. NOT!
I read this before i went to bed last night to help cheer myself up: ♥fucking nammers♥ Sanj would of thought that was hilarious... sigh.
1.02.2009
new.beginnings.new.endings.
Every day I wake up
I hope Im dreamin
I cant believe this shit
Cant believe you ain't here
I cant wait til that day, when I see your face again...
Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin on the block for dough
...they got to know that
Life ain't always what it seem to be
Words cant express what you mean to me
Even though you re gone, we still a team
Through your family, Ill fulfill your dream
In the future, cant wait to see
If you open up the gates for me
Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When its real, feelings hard to conceal
Cant imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still living your life, after death
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I'll be missing you
It's kinda hard with you not around
Know you in heaven smilin down
Watchin us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where Ill keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts I just cant define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me taking flicks
Makin hits...
I still cant believe your gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still living your life, after death
somebody tell me why
One black morning
When this life is over
I know
I'll see your face
I`ll see you again Brown jr. I love you... my baby brother...my friend...
R.I.P Sanj 07.23.86 - 01.01.09
I hope Im dreamin
I cant believe this shit
Cant believe you ain't here
I cant wait til that day, when I see your face again...
Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin on the block for dough
...they got to know that
Life ain't always what it seem to be
Words cant express what you mean to me
Even though you re gone, we still a team
Through your family, Ill fulfill your dream
In the future, cant wait to see
If you open up the gates for me
Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When its real, feelings hard to conceal
Cant imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still living your life, after death
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I'll be missing you
It's kinda hard with you not around
Know you in heaven smilin down
Watchin us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where Ill keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts I just cant define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me taking flicks
Makin hits...
I still cant believe your gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still living your life, after death
somebody tell me why
One black morning
When this life is over
I know
I'll see your face
I`ll see you again Brown jr. I love you... my baby brother...my friend...
R.I.P Sanj 07.23.86 - 01.01.09
12.15.2008
.my.dads.such.a.hater.
dad: your car looks like a garbage can
ME: dad your such a HATER!
dad: whats that?
ME: you... hating on me cause of who I am.... this be the way I'm living... hahah carefree YO!
dad: Carefree?? Your car is actually a giant bin full of garbage!
ME: whatevz dad. Your just jealous. If my car is full of garbage than why did you take my Britney Spears CD?
dad: .... BHAHAHHA not full of garbage after all! hahahahah! This morning, I was woken up with my cool dad screaming at me. All I remember was I was wasted and half awake when all I remember is him in my room screaming "WTF R U TALKING ABOUT??" I guess he came in the room asking me where the house phones were, and I replied with "dad you shouldn't carry to many cell phones thats just strait HEAT!" ahhahah and then all I remember is being woken up with buddy screaming at me.. hahaha yep. Fuck dads a pure hater hahahhahaha... I was sleeping for fuck sakes!!! ahhahahaha.
12.06.2008
.out.doing.eachother.or.out.doing.it.
You wanna know how buck we go? HAHAH well, this whole section was done in ONE day. Lebster decided to join in. hahhah. And suddenly it was all about outdoing each other too funny.
Lebster- Ode to the midget, these minuscule creatures really do exist, though many believe they are just a myth. They're pretty much useless, incapable of work. But they fuck and suck good so that's a perk. They can swallow your prick without kneeling down, its kind of like fucking a miniature clown. Cock slapping a midget really is a ball, who knew a fuck hole could be just 2 feet tall.I think necrophilia, herpes and incest win. What do ya know lebster me and ricky all tie. HAHAHHAH sooo funny.
Me- Ode to the crackhead my life is seriously falling apart, & all I can think is where is money mart? I sold my 2 year old 2 a pedi down the street. Fuck I'm short my dealer is going to give me the beats.I'm thinking of ways to steal & sell, to get that crack cuz I feel like hell. I'll suck ur cock for half a gram, trust I don't mind even getting rammed. I c Vito walking by but I do not dare, but I know this hustler has some change to spare. I say yo bro, can u give me a free piece? & he says sure give me some head n watch ur teeth!
ME- Ode to gold diggers. I got a shovel it's made of gold. I don't mind being strait up & being bold. U open ur wallet I open my legs. U pay 4 my dinners & later we shag. This is how it goes u know what it's about, I'm an expensive hooker without a doubt. I ain't looking 4 love so hand it down, once I get it, I'll let u pound my mound. With Ur ugly ass & I'm one hot chick, u show me paps & I'll suck ur dick.give me ur money bank #s & cards, I'll go to my lowest just to keep u hard. U pay? I stay that's how it goes, I have nothing to offer but my holes. Do as u please especially beat & cheat, it don't matter cuz the money makes me weak. When ur cash goes low I'm already moved on, so don't get attached I won't be around ur broke ass long!
[bahahah fuck Ricky told me to change this to "ode to the nammer bitch" hahahha]
ME- Ode to deep throating. Bitches be shoving steak tubes down their throats...hold her head down till she chokes. Help her out & press it deep, girls who know how to do - don't come cheap. Stop her complaints just shove it in, who gives a fuck where ur dick has been. Some r champs who swallow it all, others no good they'll puke on ur balls.
ME- Ode to the asshole, Some smell good & many of them stink. Holes so tight they deserve a dink! It feels way better than u think, if it hurts too much, try a chink!! Faggots all love them small lil holes, it's their pussy they play the roles. Fudge packers & baby makers take it both at the same time, bitches be cryin when giant cocks be diggin all up in where the sun don't shine! Spit on it & give it a good lube, go real deep till it's almost rude. Pull that dirty dick out after u go, quick don't hes! Turn her around & and do a Dirty sanchez!!!!
Lebster- Ode to the hooker they come in all shapes, they come in all sizes. You might get an old one, who's full of surprises. You might get a young one, who's ripe and ready. But give em a mint cuz their breath might be deadly. 10 bux for head 35 for ass, and 2 STD's for a little more cash.
Me- Ode to herpes. See I am the ballerest bitch in town, do what u will can't get me out of downtown. I'm round and nasty, & full of puss... U be nice & treat me well and I'll turn to crust. I'll slowly fade right from ur cunt, why u embarrassed? U went bareback and 2 the punch. Herpes they call me I'm a sick fucking diesies, don't catch me cuz I'll never leave. I'm on the lips too & like to chill around the hole, one time I stained some strippers pole. Sadly the next bitch went up & felt the smear, uh oh yep it's what her bf feared. I'm a bitch that shows up when u cheat on me, don't fuck around cuz I'm the deadliest std.
Lebster- Ode to the necrophilia I'm twisted extremely, have no doubt, only when ur dead will my penis come out. Don't move a muscle, don't even breathe, skin looking grey and a smell you wouldn't believe. Dead bodies are hot, the living get ignored. I get a helluva boner when I visit the morgue.
RICKY- Ode to incest, its a whole game the family can play, this might seem weird be that as it may. From mom to dad little brother to sister, how many people can say my sibling i did fist her. Mom kisses son sister blows dad this is turning into the latest fad, just remember only family allowed when outsiders join its to much of a crowd. When its all over supper can be made but not before everyone gets laid. Maybe ask an uncle or even an aunt, can cousin come? No he cant. So families don't be afraid to admit what your doing dad don't be ashamed of the daughter your screwing and moms really no need to hide your dirty little secret, your son you love to ride.
.my.talented.Mr.Ricky.pt.1.
One day.. Ricky my talented perverted friend. Decided to send me one of his poems. And here are a few of the earlier ones hahahah sooo funny.
Heres one I did save that was from me:
Ode to the side boob Some call it a tease or incomplete, but i think side boob is really neat. Curvy, round, and out of sight, i hope to glimpse side boob tonight. So ladies keep those dresses flowing, and more side boob you will b showing. Low Cleavage fashion is out of date, but for the side boob its not too late. So raise your arms way up high, and flash that side to a guy. If he wants to see the front, lift your skirt and show your......frontThose were his earlier ones... I wrote one called "Ode to the giant vagine" I am sooo sad I didn't save it and can't find it! grrr. All i member was it was something so large and vase in size... sucks people in and they die inside? fuck I can't member.
Ode to the ass Round, firm, soft, or small. If u have a nice bum, give me a call. I like them big, not soft or bony. Don't pad them up and be a phony. Round and firm just like an apple, with ur bum id like to grapple. Of ur ass i am a fan, unless of course u r a man
Ode to the bearded clam Small in shape and very clean, when its wet its beard does gleam. But as pretty as it may be, the tender clam i hardly see. Hidden and kept right out of right, i thank the stars it does not bite. If the clam u come across, u need to show it whose the boss. So reach ur hand into the ocean, and work it up with the motion. If u succeed its quite a feat, for bearded clam u now will eat.
Ode to the nipple Flattened, bumpy or erect. Some are big, and some a speck. Twist them, pull them, rub them down. Some are pink and some are brown. Always warm and always nice, unless u lick them with some ice. Sharp and pointy they become, on those bumps just like a bum. Surrounded by a circle wall, sometimes big and sometimes small. I finish this poem with a request, can i touch your tender breast?
Ode to the scrotum Sometime saggy, sometimes tight, hidden away from the light. The family jewels it protects, even if they are just specks. Some are forests some are smooth, please don't kick it with ur shoes. When ur out with a hot girl, please ur balls don't unfurl. If shes a bitch then dose the hag, and when shes out her mouth teabag. Unlike forced entry there is no mark, even if done in the dark. Of her innocence v r a robber, while she coats ur balls with slobber...
Heres one I did save that was from me:
Ode to the lips. Some so lushious and many so thin. Fuck so nasty when niggers mouth hangs down to the chin. Some know how to use...kisses so well ur just in luck! If she or... he gets down & prepares to suck! Pucker those bad boys up and lick.... Use those poutys and embrace the dick! Lips so fine it blows ur mind.... Watch out for the gritty ones who like to kiss the be...hind.weak. That was weak. LOL!
.my.talented.Mr.Ricky.pt.2.
Here are his newest. These are EFFIN' BALLER 4 sure!
When I get drunk I like to rip things... hahahah
11.14.08 Ricky 2 me: what you doing tonight nigger dick? (That's your new nickname, cause when you mad you rip bitches apart hahahha)
Ode to the gangbang All at once, or one at a time, if the bitch is wiling it isnt a crime. Her pussy, her neck, and right down her crack, the best is one Asian on many a black. Coughing and spitting with no chance to stop, juices are flowing, go get the mop. The best are the ones that think they arent sluts, that's when you force two dicks in their butts....As for the ending, it gets pretty wacky, as the Japanese say.... "its time for bukkakee! "and here is one of my newest:
Ode to bukakke ladies and gentlemen gather around, and tell that whore to kneel on the ground. Get her a cup or even a wine glass, start jerkin your shit and come on her ass. Get it in the cup while you beat your meat, a warm thick cocktail this bitch will soon eat. All over her face and down her throat and you and a bunch of friends can soon gloat, you can tell the story a true one we suppose, about how a team of guys skeeted on one or more hoes
Ode to philipinoes With accents so strong, and so quick to marry, we call them all monkeys, cause the girls are hairy. Yes they are catholic, and yes they are nice. But damned if i, take one for a wife. They do lack height, so short they fade, but when cleaning the floors, they make a good maid. To care for the sick, is their other job. "fuck it speak English! Not Tagalog!" all this aside, I'm not being mean. The truth is so hard, when your card is not green. Round them all up! Those born here too. But please use your gloves, they might have the flu. I end this all now, with a lovely quote. "call me a flip, and ill cut your damn throat!"
[I was quite flattered when he told me I was his inspiration for the slitting the throat thing awww *blush*]
Ode to the art of pedophilia this something i been practicing for ages, threw this art there has been many stages. When girls my age cant be found, i look to those who crawl on the ground, i tempt them with candy and toys alike and for the elementary girls a ten speed bike. I could go for older ones but really why bother, its more fun when I'm old enough to be their father. I know what your thinking he is a horrible man, all i can say is half your age minus as much as you can. If there old enough to crawl there in the right position but really 2 eight year olds is what I'm wishing. We don't earn belts like karate or even rankings, but we will give your kids back door spankings.
Ode to a rapist In the alleys I do lurk... I rape them bitches with a smirk. Outside ur window I shall stalk... Count my hours before I beat her with my cock. Cover her mouth I use duct tape. I ask that hoe whose her daddy about to rape!!? I don't use rubber, I go bare back, fuck this hoe is fucking stacked!! There I go I'm in her hole.... Whoops a virginity I did just stole. B4 I finish I smack her bum...."No little bitch can make me cum" Hahahahahhahahaa lot better than my last *wink*
When I get drunk I like to rip things... hahahah
12.01.2008
.if.I.were.a.boy.
I was so bored, I was looking up fun surveys to do and forward to friends (yah yah I'm fucking gay) Well I found this retarded survey some retard junior high school bitch wrote. To make this more interesting... lets pretend me: 'Kimmie' were a boy...
How many times a day would you kiss me? whenever you wanted and didn't want me tọoBAHAHAH how realistic... sigh. That was fun. That took about 4 hours to do. Talk about wasting a good ol' 4 hours. J.K. hahha imagine though eh.
How many times a day would you fuck me? whenever you wanted and didn't want me too (preferably when you didnt want me too and yelled rape that would be koo)
Would we fuck everyday? Depends if I'm already inside someone else
How many times a day would you just want to hold me? I'll hold you up after I knock your ass out. Just to see if your still alive and I'll even wait around till your conscious again... you know... make sure you don't snitch on my ass for being a lil 2 'rough'
would you take me places? How about I take you from behind?
If we went out on a date would you have me pay for it? fuck yah. That is the mother fucking shiznat when bitches be reaching for their wallets. It's the 2000's okay. Not 1930 no mo! Bitch you wanted rights, you wanted to vote, you wanted to work, bitch you put on the pants now you can walk in them too. BOO YAH!
If one of my friends tried to get with you what would you do? Rock her... but don't worry I'll be picturing you FO SHOZ!
Would you tell me? Obviously.... You always talk about how I don't share things. Did u know ur best friend likes it in her A$$??! Fuck shes BUCK!
Would you introduce me to your mom/dad? HELL NO! My parents are Jews. We don't like Muslims beat it
you: but your Asian...
me: ya but they are real cheap and shit.. so same shit different pile no what I'm sayin'?
you: I'm not even Muslim!!
me: ..you always have a problem with everything I say hey? This is why men cheat. So whatevz!
Would you care about what I wore when we r out ? Damn rights gurl. I am pre-advertising what I'm going to pimp out after I'm finished amusing myself with you.
Would you go to the Club with me? Yah. Thats where all my 'dawgs' are. And they are high rollazz... they will pay for a piece like you. Especially if your rolling with me.
If someone tried to fight me in front of you what would you do? I would knock em out. Than tell you to take all the money and credit cards and shit for me
If I cheated on you would you take me back? Of course I would. Even better. The sooner you realized your a whore, the quicker I can make some easy paps off zo ass.
If I said I loved you would you say it back? Oh this ones so easy. I love you baby. See?
11.23.2008
.the.sun.my.frienemy.
[NOTE:I found this hilarious blog I posted 2 months ago... I forgot to publish it. So here it goes.]
Saturday morning. Driving to work. 8 AM. Still awake. Don't ask. I'm driving and the pathetic sun is just SHINING in my dry ass eyes! It was so bright from raising I couldn't even see anything in front of me. I had just crashed my car the night before... yes from drinking. And had to borrow my dads car to work. I had to find a quick pair of sunglasses and throw em on. Fuck did I ever look more cracked out. Shaky from no sleep and over consumption of crown royal. Last nights make up still on and I smell like cigz. So sexy I know. hahaha. I was freaking bad. All I could think was... "sun.. god damn you! If you had an effin' body I would SLIT YOUR fucking THROAT grrrr"
I finish up my day. By then I was dry heaving and shaking so hard with sickness. On the way home from work, a truck driver in front of me decided he would drive really slow. Like, "Hey... lets waste time by driving 40 km.. lets ponder about life.. ponder about my fat ass bitch of a wife or could it be me that made her hate herself so much she had a sex change and became a man?" Buddy... I was raging k. I KNOW he KNOWS he was pissing me off. Because I could see his EYES looking back at me in the rear view mirrors. And I swear.. I kept eye contact with him back. I did not blink. As I slowly pulled a giant hunters knife out from somewhere in the car... I don't wanna get to specific but for some reason I had a knife. One that kills like ♥giant moose's♥ and shit. Yeah one of those. I waved it in front of him so that he could fucking see I mean business! This is some serious ass shit going on back here.. and if you don't move your redneck car I'll make your neck red with blood!!! Suddenly the sun that was my enemy... caught itself in the knife and blinded the bastard. He couldn't see and suddenly swerved and crashed into a giant semi truck full of gasoline that happen to be parked on the side of the road..that we were passing.. yeah and then some innocent bystander...who was smoking threw his cig away and it accidentally blew up everything. Yeah.. like everything blew man.
Okay..the whole last part was a lie. Up to the cig part. But yeah.. that sun... could of been a friend after all. I tell ya. A friend after all.
*Frienemy - smiles to your face than spits on your name behind your back.
Saturday morning. Driving to work. 8 AM. Still awake. Don't ask. I'm driving and the pathetic sun is just SHINING in my dry ass eyes! It was so bright from raising I couldn't even see anything in front of me. I had just crashed my car the night before... yes from drinking. And had to borrow my dads car to work. I had to find a quick pair of sunglasses and throw em on. Fuck did I ever look more cracked out. Shaky from no sleep and over consumption of crown royal. Last nights make up still on and I smell like cigz. So sexy I know. hahaha. I was freaking bad. All I could think was... "sun.. god damn you! If you had an effin' body I would SLIT YOUR fucking THROAT grrrr"
I finish up my day. By then I was dry heaving and shaking so hard with sickness. On the way home from work, a truck driver in front of me decided he would drive really slow. Like, "Hey... lets waste time by driving 40 km.. lets ponder about life.. ponder about my fat ass bitch of a wife or could it be me that made her hate herself so much she had a sex change and became a man?" Buddy... I was raging k. I KNOW he KNOWS he was pissing me off. Because I could see his EYES looking back at me in the rear view mirrors. And I swear.. I kept eye contact with him back. I did not blink. As I slowly pulled a giant hunters knife out from somewhere in the car... I don't wanna get to specific but for some reason I had a knife. One that kills like ♥giant moose's♥ and shit. Yeah one of those. I waved it in front of him so that he could fucking see I mean business! This is some serious ass shit going on back here.. and if you don't move your redneck car I'll make your neck red with blood!!! Suddenly the sun that was my enemy... caught itself in the knife and blinded the bastard. He couldn't see and suddenly swerved and crashed into a giant semi truck full of gasoline that happen to be parked on the side of the road..that we were passing.. yeah and then some innocent bystander...who was smoking threw his cig away and it accidentally blew up everything. Yeah.. like everything blew man.
Okay..the whole last part was a lie. Up to the cig part. But yeah.. that sun... could of been a friend after all. I tell ya. A friend after all.
*Frienemy - smiles to your face than spits on your name behind your back.
11.17.2008
.don't.disappoint.
HAHAHAH My dad is the SHIZZLE 4 REALZ. Buddy strait makes me laugh. He just got back from Vietnam, and I ask him what he brought me home. And fuck... he pulls out this ugly ass yellow pig. The look on my face must of been hilarious. I was like Dad man...wtf are those? I'll be damned! He actually looks SO hurt. Ha ha. He brought back 3 of whatever they are called. Bobble head "things"? He brought back 2 dogs and a pig. I'm the year of the pig. But niether of my bros were dogs. He made me promise to put it in my car. Listen.. my car looks like it already has A.I.D's. If I drove around with this BRIGHT ASS YELLOW bobble head pig thing.. fuck.. I might as well blow my car up with me inside of it. hahaha. I am thankful he thought of us.. and so I promised him I would. All I gotta do is put the pig out when I see him. And when I drive away I can hide it in my glove department. Well... I forgot to take it with me when I left. And my dads like "Kim.. you haven't taken your pig yet." And I walk over....
Touch its head... and the effin' thing fell apart. LOL. I blamed it on being NAM GOODS... and so.. I don't hafto take it into my car anymore. My dad agrees. It would be unsafe for someone like me... to drive along and SHA-BAM!! Suddenly it's head falls off.. startling me, thus causing an accident... and resulting in me to kill someone...or myself. Yah.... He so smart and cute. LOL.
OMG you know what's even funnier?? He KNEW I thought that thing was gross. He goes to take the price sticker off it... and yeah... it ripped the back off. As you can see above. HA HA. He started laughing because he knew he just made it look even more nammerized.. sigh.... oh dad.
.SPELLING.IT.OUT.4.YOU.
[Warning: this DOES NOT apply to any of my guy friends what so ever.]
Anywhoo's for realz WHAT THE FUCK is up with 90 percent of the men that I have met so far in the last few months??? Like when I am not interested I make it pretty fucking DAMN clear! Hmm...actually I just stop answering your calls or texts. I am always on my phone. If you don't get a reply within those 3 hours. Your in the "you just got KICKED" zone. In 3 hours I could be watching a movie, sex, having a serious conversation with someone...you know doing stuff that MAY take about 3 hours to do. So... if I'm not answering you.... yeah. Y.J.G.K. YO! LOL.
-----Scenario-----
Boring date. If you suck, after I eat, I simple say "I wanna go home." Why do men always look so shocked. Maybe if you were a little more interesting I would hang around a little longer.
get it? Cool.
Check out this old ass mofo tryin' run his game on ME bahaha!! SHIT SON!
Anywhoo's for realz WHAT THE FUCK is up with 90 percent of the men that I have met so far in the last few months??? Like when I am not interested I make it pretty fucking DAMN clear! Hmm...actually I just stop answering your calls or texts. I am always on my phone. If you don't get a reply within those 3 hours. Your in the "you just got KICKED" zone. In 3 hours I could be watching a movie, sex, having a serious conversation with someone...you know doing stuff that MAY take about 3 hours to do. So... if I'm not answering you.... yeah. Y.J.G.K. YO! LOL.
-----Scenario-----
Boring date. If you suck, after I eat, I simple say "I wanna go home." Why do men always look so shocked. Maybe if you were a little more interesting I would hang around a little longer.
"Why do you wanna go home? aren't you having a good time?"LISTEN broski, if your date says these words "I wanna go home" YEAH! There are NO hidden meanings fuck face. It means...... oooh let me spell it out for you.. since your too fucking stupid to get it. "I WANNA FUCKING GO HOME AND STAB A TEDDY BEAR AND THINK OF YOU WHILE I DO IT!" Pretty Simple. Just suck it up. And let her go home already. Don't find ways to keep her around. UGH. It just makes her feel more awkward & SOOO much more annoyed.
"Uh... sorry I got shit to do"
"It's 12 AM"
"Yeah... I do... stuff during the night..." [obviously making shit up]
"What kind of errands can you possibly be getting done during the night?"
"Beat up bums, pimp hookers, dig a hole and fill it with your body if you don't shut the fuck up - kinda stuff." Than I smile... Jk. no no.. I don't say that. Almost... but don't.
"OoOohh come on' Lets hang out...."
"CHECK PLEASE!"
get it? Cool.
Check out this old ass mofo tryin' run his game on ME bahaha!! SHIT SON!
11.13.2008
10.27.2008
.WHORE.IT.UP.
YAYYYYY!! Its almost that time of the year!! Where we all get to you know....dress up like trashy little whores and out do each other on "whoriness".
WOW number 3 again this year!!! I'm cool and a rank 3 whore.
K this is my deal with Halloween. Why the fuck do SOME guys and MOST uptight ass bitches make such a big deal about how girls dress on Halloween? It's fucking okay for girls to run around in a bikini which resembles...if not is a fucking bra and thong or panties on a beach BUT its not OK for us to degrade and make fun of things that are innocent like in our knick nacks... stuff like I don't know rainbow bright or a slutty poor street bum WTF. Just shut up. It's Halloween you haters. The girls that are hatin' are the girls that are the ones who r just insecure and have WAY too much respect for themselves. LOL. And as for the guys that are hatin'. These are guys who probably jerk off to their mothers faces when they screw their ugly g.f's.
Come on people all together now. Lets hold hands now and pray for their souls.
Happy halloween!!!
Amen!
*btw the slut ranking was a joke from 3 n up. hahah we r all whores and there is no different rankings between us babhahhaa.
Ranks of whorism: (only on Halloween)
#ONE see through items revealing ass or tits or box = "I'd hit that. But I will probably get an std WITH or WITHOUT a condom"
#TWO bra like items with panties or booty shorts (must be in that combo) = "whoa I'd hit that BUT I best use a condom"
#THREE costumes covering up the belly area and ass = "k i will hit that and I will consider not wrapping IT up"
#FOUR costumes with skirts close to the knees or less cleavage = "wow i would hit that when i am really really drunk. Lets go hit on whore rank 1. She looks ready to go."
#FIVE "something stupid like a barney outfit OR something considered "cute" = wow I am going to jerk off in your face so you can have some sex appeal now!"
WOW number 3 again this year!!! I'm cool and a rank 3 whore.
K this is my deal with Halloween. Why the fuck do SOME guys and MOST uptight ass bitches make such a big deal about how girls dress on Halloween? It's fucking okay for girls to run around in a bikini which resembles...if not is a fucking bra and thong or panties on a beach BUT its not OK for us to degrade and make fun of things that are innocent like in our knick nacks... stuff like I don't know rainbow bright or a slutty poor street bum WTF. Just shut up. It's Halloween you haters. The girls that are hatin' are the girls that are the ones who r just insecure and have WAY too much respect for themselves. LOL. And as for the guys that are hatin'. These are guys who probably jerk off to their mothers faces when they screw their ugly g.f's.
Come on people all together now. Lets hold hands now and pray for their souls.
Happy halloween!!!
9.10.2008
9.06.2008
.stop.EXTORTING.my.kitties.
I was browsing around the net one day and stumbled upon some pics. Horrible! What a horrible thought to have...
chewing gum????? WTF!
...and we all know this famous one. Makes me cry every time I think about it. *shudder*
K that...is actually funny. bhahha a troll. grrr... props to this clown. but pretty clever I must say...
So... I have decided to create my very own please think of the kittens pic.
And here you go:
...so ladies. Lets try and stop having periods. Oh wait what? We can't stop natures way of life? Well... ooops omg there goes a man. Oh well, he was probably useless anyways :p
K that...is actually funny. bhahha a troll. grrr... props to this clown. but pretty clever I must say...
So... I have decided to create my very own please think of the kittens pic.
And here you go:
.YO.I.gots.me.some.tricks.
ha ha ha she doesn't even realise I have my camera up her skirt snappin pictures of her panties under the table. I'm THAT macking.
That's right bitches. I'll explain what just went on in this picture. I said "hey babbbby, look over there...no no not up... look to your right... like where I am pointing. k ya no what? It's aaallllll good.... " Know why it was all gooooodd? Cause while Quin a.k.a my target was very confused about her left right up and down, I got to check out the goods anyways. haha oh those roofies... muahhahahah.
CAUTION: side effects of roofies: confusion, stumbling around, getting laid/raped, contracting std or getting pregnant by an unknown person/animal. FUCK!!!! Too bad I drank the martini I spiked by accident. I got no game yo. NO GAME hahahha then again maybe I do... I still got some! HA HA HA!
CAUTION: side effects of roofies: confusion, stumbling around, getting laid/raped, contracting std or getting pregnant by an unknown person/animal. FUCK!!!! Too bad I drank the martini I spiked by accident. I got no game yo. NO GAME hahahha then again maybe I do... I still got some! HA HA HA!
.bird.crap.the.arguement.begins.
later on that night...
LOAN: Do fish sleep
RYAN: Yes they do
LOAN: Do they fart
RYAN: They poop so probably
RYAN: Did you know birds don't poop its actually pee
RYAN: Technically
ME: WTF
ME: Yeah right!
ME: What's that white shit on my car window than?
ME: it's bird Diarrhea yo
LOAN: Yeah they poop and pee in one shot
ME: .........
LOAN: That's why its watery poop
ME: Disgusting.
RYAN: You can't poop and pee out of the same hole
RYAN: So it's just pee
RYAN: Really thick pee
LOAN: No
LOAN: Its both
LOAN: Trust me
ME: ...listen
ME: If you mix a combination of shit & pee you r diluting the poo with the liquid thus creating... A watery texture with chunks in it.
ME: Hence... Bird piss/crap
ME: Listen Ryan... Loan said trust me. So just trust her okay. She knows a lot about poo.
ME: I bought her a book on it ok. ♥what's Ur poo telling you?♥
RYAN: No... The discovery channel told me its only pee
RYAN: The discovery channel doesn't lie
ME: Whoa whoa... E-Z
ME: I won't fight you.
ME: I believe u. Hahahahah
RYAN: Good.... Cuz the discovery channel is right
RYAN: Hahahhaa
ME: Actually, I believe the discovery channel !! Hahahahah
RYAN: birds don’t drink water.
ME: whoa whoa… yeah they do!
RYAN: no they don’t I watched that on the discovery channel too.
ME: uh… I’m totally looking that up right now… UH HA! They DO drink water yo. "As for all living things, water is essential to the survival of birds...do so by dipping the bill and then tipping the head back to let the water run down into the throat to be swallowed" So your national geographic is bullshizzel!
RYAN: It was the Discovery Chanel !! Theres a huuuge difference freak.
ME: oh yeah? Your “The discovery channel told me it only pee” is killed haha killed the whole argument earlier.
RYAN: … whatever. Lol.
8.17.2008
.making.it.happen.
I got a lovely gift from my bro. A nice big tub full of sour soothers... but problem is once I got my paws into them. I realized they were soft and fresh still.... yeah I know what your thinking...whats wrong with fresh soft candies???? I'll mother fucking tell you whats wrong. It's gross! I like that shit OLD & STALE. Not like older men and not like gummy bears and gummy worms!! EWW they all make me cringe...
Well I thought hard, what the eff can I do about this? Well got my mind thinking. So this is what i came up with:
Thats why this earth is going to blow up...LIKE soon.... because I said so :)
Well I thought hard, what the eff can I do about this? Well got my mind thinking. So this is what i came up with:
HOW 2 MAKE STALE CANDY:Don't bother asking me how long it will take to stale up... cause I have no idea. Maybe a month? Beats me. I am assuming this is like pickling eggs or whatever... the longer the better hahahhaha. Listen, I googled it online okay... and well lets just say, no one is as wacky as I am to give a flying EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
#ONE take the tub and STAB it with a giant kitchen knife. (the more scary the knife the better) I like the one they used in the movie ♥THE STRANGERS♥...
#TWO stuff the tub into a clean bag and tie it loosely.
#THREE hide it somewhere in your house. If you can manage to hide it somewhere so well, even YOU can't find it. Than you have won tons of cookie points with me :) I put the fucker under my bed. I guess I'm just not THAT creative.
Thats why this earth is going to blow up...LIKE soon.... because I said so :)
8.08.2008
.freakski.withdraws.
RYAN: its hard for anyone to be away from me for more than a couple of hours
RYAN: I understand... when I sleep
RYAN: i wake up and i'm like gawd... i missed myself.
ME: ... OH ...MY.... GOD!
omg... WHAT A FREAKSKI! ... I HEART HIM. My best friend for a reason hahhaha and he tells ME I am crazy because i want to run away with a boy to a far far away land... and have a cat farm together... and we eat candy all day on the porch in the sun... pfft yeah I'M crazy hahahhaa.
8.04.2008
.my.heart.goes.PITTER.PATTER.
1...2...3... breath....
HE FINALLY CALLED ME. No not that fool. My Reggie bear!!! The only man that I can trust to never hurt me. Other than my freakski and freakski 2. (u know who u r) OMG it felt soooo amazing to hear his voice. All monotone and shiz. hahhaa. I have been really sick with this strange throat infection that has left me lying in bed for 7 days strait. From Sunday till... today. AMAZING. His voice put rainbows in my heart. I went from...
HE FINALLY CALLED ME. No not that fool. My Reggie bear!!! The only man that I can trust to never hurt me. Other than my freakski and freakski 2. (u know who u r) OMG it felt soooo amazing to hear his voice. All monotone and shiz. hahhaa. I have been really sick with this strange throat infection that has left me lying in bed for 7 days strait. From Sunday till... today. AMAZING. His voice put rainbows in my heart. I went from...
THAT ---->
<-----TO THIS!!!
Truely... I was so happy to hear from him, I jumped out of bed, got ready and went out for the first time in a week lol. Even when I was starting to feel better, I just didnt have the motivation to even want to leave the facility of my room :( ...
I think I am half inlove with him hahhaha. JK ewwwwww PURE incest YO!
I think I am half inlove with him hahhaha. JK ewwwwww PURE incest YO!
I have been staring at his i miss you text all day... sigh... I miss him so much...
II'll be seeing you soon....
.HEY.boys.boys.boys....
You don't own me
I'm not just one of your little toys
You don't own me
Don't say I can't go with other boys
And don't tell me what to do
And don't tell me what to say
And when I go out with you
Don't put me on display
You don't own me
Don't try to change me in anyway
You don't own me
Don't tie me down, cos I'll never stay
I don't tell you what to say
I don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you.
I'm young, (I'm YOUNG) and I LOVE TO BE YOUNG!
I'm free, (so FREE) and I LOVE TO BE FREE!
To live my life the way that I want!
To say and do whatever I please!!...
..... Darlin' you don't own me.
*LESLIE GORE - YOU DON'T OWN ME
8.02.2008
.i.know.now...
.
.
.
.
.
Anyways... so first, I give the room a quick scan, you know to be paranoid that someone might jump out from behind and fight me for my new found treasure... then once I realized no one was around, I open it as fast as I could, but gently you know what I'm sayin'? And yeah there they were - 5 old crusty mother fucking hard ass wine gums. They were SO fucking old, they were white on the outside.
My cousin gave me a serious look and was like "chi Kim...please do not eat those they are like more than a few years old" and well... I waited till she left the room and I ate them. One by one man. And ya know what? They were the most tasty hard to eat little bastards ever... yep. And so that is how I discovered wine gums last forever man.
For effin' evzs.
7.25.2008
7.24.2008
.Till.it's.goneeeee.
"Omission is Deception..." -anonymous
one republic - apologize
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
"It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late..."
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
"It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late..."
"you don't know what you got till it's gone..." -anonymous
one republic - apologize
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
"It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late..."
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
"It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late..."
"you don't know what you got till it's gone..." -anonymous
7.01.2008
.my.dinner.was.BALLER.
You gotta love the Happy birthday Princess crown and wand from Miss Anita!!! Grr she couldnt make it...but the damn crown did hhaha.
haha it was pure baller YO. Well not really... But I have been calling everything in sight baller. Like if an old lady trips on a midget or something I'd scream out "yo man... that midget trip was pure baller" get it? hahhaha. Whatevz!
I went to C-town for my Bday. Why? Because I have more people I would like to spend my 25th bday with down in their hood. Plus anywhere is better than DREADmonton. We went to Muse. It was EFFIN' GOOD. I really like it, despite the fact they had to cook for a table over 15 ugh so the food came out too salty or over cooked. The dinner was AWESOME! Thank you too those who came down to Calgary with me to celebrate my 25th!!! I had a fucking BLAST!!!
Too Bad I am petrified of those sparkler thing majiggz they put on cake!
This cake not a joke...was probably the best cake I have ever had!! Thanks to my lady Helgy and Mike for arranging it hehe.
Happy Birthday to Ada as well!! Gemini's rock haha
Blondie's "G" Moment!
Cheers!!!!!
[I will update the rest of my Bday later]
I went to C-town for my Bday. Why? Because I have more people I would like to spend my 25th bday with down in their hood. Plus anywhere is better than DREADmonton. We went to Muse. It was EFFIN' GOOD. I really like it, despite the fact they had to cook for a table over 15 ugh so the food came out too salty or over cooked. The dinner was AWESOME! Thank you too those who came down to Calgary with me to celebrate my 25th!!! I had a fucking BLAST!!!
Too Bad I am petrified of those sparkler thing majiggz they put on cake!
This cake not a joke...was probably the best cake I have ever had!! Thanks to my lady Helgy and Mike for arranging it hehe.
Happy Birthday to Ada as well!! Gemini's rock haha
Blondie's "G" Moment!
Cheers!!!!!
[I will update the rest of my Bday later]